


Loud Stars in a Quiet Universe

by I_have_lost_control_of_my_life



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Akaashi Keiji & Bokuto Koutarou Friendship, Akaashi Keiji Needs a Hug, Akaashi Keiji in Love, Bokuto Koutarou is a Good Friend, Boys Kissing, Cuddling & Snuggling, Falling In Love, First Kiss, Fluff, How Do I Tag, Kissing, M/M, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Oblivious Akaashi Keiji, POV Akaashi Keiji, Pining Akaashi Keiji, Self-Esteem Issues, Sharing a Bed, Stars, Third Year Akaashi Keiji, Time Skips, University Student Bokuto Koutarou, Volleyball Dorks in Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:13:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25744900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_have_lost_control_of_my_life/pseuds/I_have_lost_control_of_my_life
Summary: In his mind, Bokuto was a star: shining brightly and providing warmth to anything near him. Keiji was helpless to orbit around him like an insignificant planet, completely enthralled by the sheer gravity of his presence, but never able to move closer. After all, the Sun would always set. One day, Bokuto would decide that he deserved to be around others as full of life as himself, and he would leave, resulting in Keiji being cold and alone. But that was fine. He would enjoy the warmth while it lasted.Over the years, his appreciation for the quiet was forgotten as his entire life became defined by the cacophony of sound that followed his best friend who was attached to his hip. It wasn’t until his third year in high school that it really hit him what that meant.  For the first time in two years, the world around him was completely silent as he walked through the school gates.For the first time in his life, that silence was more oppressive than comforting.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji & Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Comments: 9
Kudos: 120





	Loud Stars in a Quiet Universe

Keiji had always found comfort in silence. He was a very reserved boy by nature, regularly finding peace in the quiet moments of the day that left most of his classmates twitching and ready to burst. Even in primary school, he was perfectly content sitting against the school wall doodling instead of running around screaming like everyone else. Nothing about his behavior struck him as odd or concerning, yet he can remember with perfect clarity the day his teacher called in his mother and father to set up a conference about his behavior. 

_“Keiji is a great student, but he seems to have problems expressing himself with the other students. I think it would be best for him if you enrolled him in an extracurricular activity, like a club or a sport.”_

Not even forty eight hours later, Keiji was enrolled in a sport that he knew nothing about, three pairs of ears deaf to his own opinions on what would be best for him. He was fully prepared to hate whatever this ‘volleyball’ was upon walking in the gym, the thought only confirmed when he heard the loud squeak of shoes and the thunderous sound of balls slamming into the ground. It took all of his self restraint not to drop to his knees right then and there and beg his parents to just let him go home. Instead, he opted to walk through the doors with his head held high, and his stomach uncomfortably turned to stone. 

However, over the course of practice, Keiji was surprised to find that he actually started to enjoy himself. He liked the fluidity of the movements, liked it when different members of the team have to come together to complete a play. By the end of practice, his heart was racing in his chest, his shirt completely drenched in sweat as his muscles ached and burned. His body was in agony, but his mind was practically soaring with the elated feeling in his chest; he was positive that he had never felt more alive in his life.

Still, the quiet during the ride home comforts him, slows down the thoughts racing through his head until he can just breathe. As time goes on, Keiji starts to find a balance between the excitement of practice and the serenity that can be found when he’s alone in the evenings. He liked his teammates well enough, but there always seemed to be an invisible wall between them that made it almost impossible for him to open up in any fashion, but he doesn’t mind much. He likes playing, and he’s good at it. All throughout elementary and junior high, he kept to himself, completely focused on subtly improving his technique. 

The assumption that it would be the same in high school flew out of his head before his foot even hit the gym floor. Keiji hadn’t even managed to blink when the loudest person he had ever met was directly in front of him practically screaming in his face. “Hey! You must be a new first year! I’m Bokuto Koutarou! What’s your name?”

For a moment, all he could do was blink at the cacophony of sound that had just assaulted his ears and watch as the boy in front of him practically vibrated in his apparent excitement at meeting another player. It took him a full five seconds to process what had been said to (shouted at) him, leaving him standing there gaping like a fool. His face burned with mortification.

“I’m Akaashi Keiji,” he answered, thankful that he didn’t sound as overwhelmed as he felt, “It’s nice to meet you.” He even managed to remember to bow politely.

“It’s nice to meet you too, Akaashi-kun! What position do you play? I’m the ace!” He somehow got even _louder_ with this declaration while simultaneously getting closer to his face.

The rest of the team must have sensed his discomfort because multiple voices rang out before he could open his mouth.

“Bokuto, knock it off, you’re gonna scare the first years away!”

“Jeez Bokuto, at least let the kid breathe.”

“You’re not the ace yet, second year.”

Bokuto seemed to deflate a little at the words, quickly taking multiple steps back; however it didn’t take long for him to perk up again. When he spoke up, his voice was considerably quieter (although, that really wasn’t saying much). “Sorry about that, I just get excited meeting new teammates.”

For the first time, Keiji took the time to examine the boy standing in front of him. He was tall- tall enough that Keiji had to look up to properly see his face, and he was well built too. His hair was rather odd as well, spiked unnaturally in a way that made it look like he was attempting to give himself horns, but it wasn’t really long enough to have the desired effect. However the most striking thing about his new teammate was his eyes. Solid gold stared right into Keiji’s soul, shining brightly like stars in the dim light of the gym. His breath caught in his throat as he helplessly stared back into his teammate’s eyes; he had never seen anyone with eyes that color before.

“It’s alright.” The words were slow and cautious out of his mouth, but nonetheless sincere. “I’m a setter.”

Bokuto’s entire body went slack as he stared at Keiji like he was a one of a kind treasure before a switch flipped and he was radiating ten times the amount of excitement as he had been earlier. “You’re a setter?! Wow, that’s so great! Would you mind staying after practice to toss to me? Nobody else will anymore because they want to go home, but I promise it’ll be a lot of fun!”

Keiji risked a glance at the other upperclassmen who were all vehemently shaking their heads, faces twisted in horror. When he looked back at Bokuto, he was giving him the most pathetic puppy dog eyes he had ever seen. 

And really, how could he say no to that?

“Okay.”

Keiji could have sworn the boy actually hooted in delight while he victoriously jumped up and down. “Thank you so much! You won’t regret it!” He was beaming, eyes full of mirth. “I have a feeling you and I are going to be good friends, Akaashi!”

Keiji’s gut twisted as he pondered for the first time what exactly he had just signed himself up for. “If you say so, Bokuto-san.”

Bokuto just laughed and hauled him towards the court.

~~~

It didn’t take long for Keiji to be completely thrown off balance by the force of nature that was Bokuto Koutarou. His new teammate was obnoxious, boisterous, outspoken, and temperamental. Keiji’s antithesis. For all intents and purposes, he should hate the winged spiker, but he doesn’t.

In fact, it’s quite the opposite.

He’s never cared about anyone the way he cares about Bokuto.

Because even with all of the reasons he shouldn’t like him, Keiji is drawn to the way the other teen is kind, considerate, and oddly perceptive. After a week, Bokuto can read Keiji like a book, and is careful to never push him or overwhelm him. He never seems to mind that Keiji isn’t as expressive as he is, never gives him weird looks on days where Keiji just doesn’t feel like talking all that much. Instead, he talks enough for the both of them. It’s unbelievably nice to have someone understand him so thoroughly, so he makes sure it goes both ways.

Within a month, Keiji can tell exactly what type of mood Bokuto is in just by the minuscule shifts in his expressions, carefully cataloging all of his expressions so that he can figure out the best ways to counter them if they're negative or boost them when they're positive. 

The first time they’re put on the court together in a game-like setting, they function like a well oiled machine. Any time Bokuto had started to shift into one of his dejected moods, Keiji quickly stepped in and steered him back, subtly boosting his mood until Bokuto was puffing his chest with his head held high. With every well aimed hit that landed untouched on the other side of the court, he would bounce over to Keiji, eyes damn near sparklingly with exhilaration.

“Did you see that, Akaashi?!”

“I did. It was very nice, Bokuto-san.”

The boy preened at the praise, even if Keiji’s expression didn’t change very much, seemingly fueled by the bland words of encouragement. By the time their practice match ended, the other team had been thoroughly destroyed, unable to combat the powerful attacks. Keiji couldn’t help the way his heart swelled as he looked at the final score of the second set (25-15), chest light and euphoric as Bokuto yelled about his final spike to anyone who would listen. 

“Akaashi.”

All of his muscles stiffened at the sound of his coach's voice, but he turned anyway. 

“Yes sir?”

He didn’t say anything at first, calculating stare piercing directly through his soul before his eyes flickered over to Bokuto, so fast Keiji wondered if he had imagined it. The man opened his mouth, question clear on his tongue before he paused and clamped his jaw shut.

“Nice game, kid,” was all he said before he turned on his heel and talked back towards the sideline.

He didn’t have time to think about what Coach could have asked him because there was suddenly a weight on his shoulder and a body pressed directly against his. 

“What was that about, Akaashi? Did you get in trouble?” Bokuto’s gaze was curious, but there was something else there too, another emotion he couldn’t quite name (if Keiji had to use a word for it, it would be _protective_ , but that was absolutely ridiculous wasn’t it?).

“No, he just wanted to tell me I played well.”

He tried not to focus on the fact that he could physically feel his friend relax against him. 

“You didn’t just play well, Akaashi. You played awesome! I’m so glad you’re my setter. You’re like, the best setter in the world!” He punctuated his statement by shaking him, damn near toppling Keiji over.

“Thank you, Bokuto-san, but I’m not even our starting setter.” Regardless of the fact, he couldn’t fight the small smile that made its way onto his lips at the praise.

“Trust me, Akaashi,” Bokuto looked directly into his eyes as he said this, sending a thrill up Keiji’s spine. For the first time (but certainly not the last), his heart started to race a little for something completely unrelated to volleyball, and his hands felt clammy for a reason he couldn’t exactly piece together at the moment. “Coach would be crazy not to have you start after the game you just played.” With that he squeezed his shoulder and ran off, leaving Keiji confused and a little breathless.

~~~

When Keiji realized that he had romantic feelings for his best friend, he wasn’t surprised. He never fought against the warmth that blossomed against his skin at small contacts, or the way his heart went into overdrive whenever Bokuto so much as smiled in his direction. In his mind, falling for his teammate was as inevitable as the setting of the sun at the end of the day, so he let himself be engulfed by the fire that raged within him whenever they were closer than a few feet away.

That doesn’t mean that he ever pursued anything though.

In his mind, Bokuto was a star: shining brightly and providing warmth to anything near him. Keiji was helpless to orbit around him like an insignificant planet, completely enthralled by the sheer gravity of his presence, but never able to move closer. After all, the Sun always sets. One day, Bokuto would decide that he deserved to be around others as full of life as himself, and he would leave, resulting in Keiji being cold and alone. But that was fine. He would enjoy the warmth while it lasted.

Over the years, his appreciation for the quiet was forgotten as his entire life became defined by the cacophony of sound that followed his best friend who was attached to his hip. It wasn’t until his third year in high school that it really hit him what that meant. For the first time in two years, the world around him was completely silent as he walked through the school gates.

For the first time in his life, that silence was more oppressive than comforting.

Every quiet step just hammered in the fact that his best friend wasn’t next to him anymore; he had started his first semester of college a couple weeks ago and was miles away from Keiji. Every second that ticked by was just another weight added to his shoulders until he was almost ready to collapse by the time he walked into the gym for practice.

When he walked in, he straightened his back, desperately trying to hide his inner turmoil; after all, he was appointed captain this year. He had to set the example. (That didn’t stop his eyes from burning or the lump forming in his throat when he looked around the gym and didn’t see Bokuto’s characteristic spiked hair.) He stayed upbeat all practice, made sure to include all of the new first years, and tried to control his enthusiastic team. He felt empty by the time he had finished changing in the clubroom, bones aching and limbs faint. He was practically falling asleep on his feet as he tried to lock up the door, only to be tackled to the ground by an unknown force.

“Akaashi!”

And if that voice wasn’t music to his ears.

“Hello, Bokuto-san.” His arms were wrapped tightly around the other without a moment's hesitation.

They just sat there for a small eternity, simply content to exist in each other's presence, but as nice as it was, Keiji was pretty sure he would explode if he sat in silence a moment longer.

“What are you doing here?”

He regretted it as soon as Bokuto pulled away from him, barely having the restraint to not launch himself back at the older boy.

“I came to see how your first day of third year went!” Keiji could have cried at the sight of those bright golden eyes. “I needed to make sure my vice captain wasn’t too lost without me.”

“Of course. I never would have survived if you hadn’t shown up, Bokuto-san,” Keiji kept his tone dry and sarcastic to hide the small amount of truth in his words.

The other teen just laughed, loud and carefree and suddenly everything in Keiji was tilted back onto his axis. “I’m sure. Come on! I want to celebrate your first day as captain!”

Before he knew it he was being dragged to a nearby ice cream shop, cone in his hand before he could even blink. As soon as they sat down, Bokuto was filling the dreaded silence with a long winded story about his classes that morning, and Keiji found himself truly relaxed for the first time all day; he even managed to give a brief overview of how his third year had started (without the embarrassing truth of his feelings).

Too soon, they were standing on a train platform, Bokuto needing to get back to his dorm for his classes in the morning. Before he could convince himself it was a bad idea, he threw his arms around the taller boy, pulling him close so that he could place his face in the crook of his neck. After a moment, strong arms tentatively wrapped themselves around his torso. 

“Thank you for coming today, Bokuto-san.” _It means more than you could ever realize._

The arms around his torso tighten. “Of course, Akaashi. Nothing would have stopped me.”

He couldn’t remember how to breathe.

“It almost sounds like you miss me, Bokuto-san.”

Hands are suddenly on his shoulders, pushing him back. Bokuto is staring at him, cheeks slightly pink, but face more serious than Keiji’s ever seen it. 

“I do miss you, Akaashi. Every day.”

His heart is beating so fast, and he’s pretty sure he’s about to pass out.

“I miss you too, Bokuto-san,” he says, a little breathless, even to his own ears.

He blinks, and Bokuto is too close ( _not close enough_ ), their faces only inches away from each other. Desperately, he tries to get air into his lungs, but it's futile, almost like there’s no oxygen left in the train station-

_The train station._

A bolt of lightning shoots through his body as he quickly composes himself and steps backwards. Bokuto needs to go. He has his own life now, separate from Keiji, and it would be unfair of him to try to contain a star to a small section of a vast universe.

“You should get going. You wouldn’t want to miss your train.” His heart slowly crumbles as he says this, but he refuses to take the words back.

“Right. Train.” Bokuto nods, the movement jerky as he robotically widens the distance between the two of them. 

His entire body language has shifted, sagging like he just hit three consecutive balls into the net. Keiji hates that he put that look on his face, but he knows, deep down, that it’s for the best. In a few weeks, Bokuto will move on, too absorbed in university life to even think about him. Soon, high school will be a distant memory for him, and Keiji will simply be an infinitesimal part of his past. It’s for the best.

That doesn’t make it hurt any less.

They part with an awkward wave, leaving Keiji to once again walk alone with nothing but silence to accompany him. 

He doesn’t know if it's in his imagination or not, but now the crushing weight of it somehow feels incomparably worse.

~~~

Keiji is absolutely astounded when Bokuto comes to visit him the next week. A little less so the next week when he comes again. And even less when he once again shows up the following week. 

There’s an odd concoction of emotions in his chest every time he gets to see Bokuto. Of course there’s the way his heart traitorously quickens, pumping blood through his veins so fast he’s left a little lightheaded. There’s also the fact that he can’t seem to stop his lips from quirking up every time the older boy excitedly rambles on about his new topic of the week, or the tiny detail that every small brush of their skin sets his whole body on fire.

On the other hand, there’s also the guilt.

He’s trapped in the vice-like grip of the thought that he’s somehow holding Bokuto back, suffocating to the point that he’s getting light headed. No matter how many times he chooses to come back to visit him, he can’t help the small whisper in the back of his head that tells him someone like Bokuto should actually be enjoying their first year of college, shouldn’t be confined to Keiji’s small world. 

He brings it up to Bokuto when he starts losing sleep, finally managing to come to a compromise that helps Keiji breathe a little easier.

( _“If you really want me to stop visiting you I will. I don’t really understand what you’re saying, but if seeing me upsets you this much, I promise I’ll stop.”_

_Keiji hates the way Bokuto says this, dejected and somber as his entire body practically wilts. Stabbing him would have hurt less._

_He keeps a carefully blank face. “I’m not saying I don’t want to see you-”_

_“Then what are you saying?” His voice cracks, and it takes every single ounce of strength in Keiji’s body not to take back all of his words._ I’m doing this to help Bokuto-san _. The words repeat through his head until they’re empty and meaningless._

_“I’m saying that I think you should be enjoying your first year of university.”_

_Bokuto tilts his head to the side, his eyebrows furrowing the same way they do when he’s staring at a really complex math problem. “But I enjoy spending time with you, Akaashi.”_

_Any argument he had prepared falters. For a brief moment, he wonders how Bokuto makes it sound so simple before he forges on. “You should be going out and meeting new people on campus, maybe even going to parties. Normal college things.”_

_“But I’m not all that interested in parties, and I meet lots of people in my classes…”_

_“I don’t want you to miss out on your first year of college because of_ me _, Bokuto!”_

_The silence is deafening as the two stare at each other, shock apparent on both of their faces. Mortification creeps up Keiji’s neck as the full weight of what he’s just shouted processes in his mind._

_“It’s just…” Articulating words is apparently impossible when your mind is filled with static. Keiji pushes on anyway. “It’s pretty selfish, isn’t it, Bokuto-san? Keeping you to myself all the time when there’s so much more you could be doing?”_

_Keiji has never felt this vulnerable in his life. He’s a little ashamed that he practically melts the second he’s engulfed by warm arms._

_“Okay. I don’t know if I fully agree with you, but I will try to go get more involved on campus if it means that much to you, okay? On one condition.” He makes a humming noise to indicate that he’s listening. “I still get to come see you, but now it’ll be once every two weeks. Is that okay for you?”_

_Keiji can only nod._ )

So every other week Bokuto comes down to visit. The guilt still lingered, stubbornly clinging to his heart, but now he can breathe again, and he manages to push those feelings to the side whenever his friend comes to see him. Everything was going fine until the night before their first tournament.

His hands are shaking, his chest is tight, and he’s pretty sure he’s been staring at the same spot on the wall for at least an hour. Logically, he knows everything will be fine tomorrow; he has a strong team, and they’ve come a long way since their first practice. At the same time, this is his first game as captain, the make or break moment that is going to put all of his efforts on display for the world to see. What if he fails? What if he wasn’t good enough? What if-

Just when he’s at the pinnacle of his self doubt, a small _ding_ pulls him from his thoughts.

His fingers are trembling as he reaches out towards the lit up phone, eyes now focused completely on the notification. A warm fondness spreads through his chest as he reads the message, melting some of the dread that had built up.

**From Bokuto-san [9:47 PM]**

_hey hey hey Akaashi!!! how r u feeling?!?!_

**To Bokuto-san [9:48 PM]**

_I’m fine, Bokuto-san._

It took three three attempts to type out the message. The silence stretched on with no new notifications popping up until two small _dings_ came from his phone.

**From Bokuto-san [9:51 PM]**

_tomorrows going to be exciting_

_r u in bed yet?_

**To Bokuto-san [9:51 PM]**

_No._

_I’m… having problems sleeping._

He paused, debating on whether or not he wanted to explain further.

_Tomorrow is just a big day I guess._

Another break from texts before Bokuto changed the subject completely, focusing on easy, non-volleyball related topics. Of course Keiji knew what was happening, but he didn’t have the heart to call him out. They traded messages for over an hour, and by that point, he was feeling a lot lighter. At 11:17 PM his phone lit up again, this time with a call. Frowning slightly, he answered, only slightly hesitating when he brought the phone up to his ear.

“Bokuto-san?”

“Hey! Akaashi! Look outside!” His friend was whisper-shouting into the phone, clearly trying to keep his voice down.

Giving into his curiosity, Keiji ignored the creaks in his bones and made his way over to the window, damn near dropping his phone at what he saw. Without a moment's hesitation, he ended the call, quietly rushing down the stairs to his front door. The cool night air didn’t even register in his brain as he stepped outside, rubbing his eyes to confirm that he wasn’t seeing things, that yes, Bokuto really was in his front yard, his hair hanging down in his face as he frowned down at his phone. 

“Bokuto-san?” The words barely made their way out of his mouth, so quiet they should have been indecipherable, yet Bokuto’s head whipped up, eyes fixing on Keiji immediately. His frown was quickly replaced by his excited grin, completely stealing the air from his lungs. He half expected the boy to shout, but here merely raised his hand in a small wave as he walked over.

“Hey.”

“Hi,” Keiji muttered. He felt a bit stupid at his lackluster response, but his thoughts were a jumbled mess at their sudden proximity, so for once in his life, he gave himself a pass.

Bokuto blinked, suddenly looking like it was Keiji who had shown up on his doorstep at the middle of the night. “Sorry I…” He blinked again, visibly trying to string his thoughts together. 

Keiji was still reeling.

“You seemed anxious when I texted you,” Bokuto declared. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay, and I guess I ended up here without thinking it through. Sorry, I should’ve asked, but I can go... ” Now that the shock was beginning to fade, Keiji could clearly see the early signs of one of his dejected moods, so he did the only thing he could think of that would help.

He pulled him into the house and shut the door.

“Akaashi-”

“Shh!” He clamped his hand over the other boy's mouth, straining his ears for signs that they had woken up someone. Wide gold eyes stared back at him, and Keiji jumped back, hastily wiping his hands on the front of his pajamas. “Sorry, but my parents are asleep.”

Bokuto nodded, hastily making his way towards Keiji’s room with the younger on his heels. As soon as the door closed, he turned, sheepish looking present on his face.

“I know you weren’t expecting me, but-”

“Do you have clothes, Bokuto-san?”

His eyebrows furrowed again, looking more like he was trying to piece together the answers to the universe as opposed to a simple question. “Yeah I do, but-”

Keiji cut him off again.

“Go get changed. We can just share the bed.”

It was fascinating how quickly Bokuto’s face grew red. The taller boy opened his mouth, visibility floundering before his jaw clicked shut with an audible _click_. Keiji’s stomach twisted uncomfortably as he wondered if maybe he had gone too far.

Before he could retract his statement, Bokuto damn near shouted, “Okay!” and ran out of the room before Keiji could so much as shush him. By the time the college student returned, the younger teen had climbed into bed, managing to somewhat compose himself. Gold eyes flickered between him and the small space beside him, hesitant and questioning. After a few more seconds of this, Keiji was at his wits end.

“If you’re uncomfortable, I can just set up a spare futon,” he muttered, glaring at his comforter.

That seemed to snap Bokuto out of his little funk. “No! It’s fine, I’m just a little surprised,” he hastily explained, clamoring onto the spot next to him.

For the first time since the school year started, the quiet that settled around Keiji was comforting. The rhythmic sounds of their breathing and the light heat radiating from his friend had him relaxing into the bed. 

“‘Kaashi?” The softly spoken words broke him out of his musings.

“Hmm?”

“Can I… try something?”

Keiji slowly opened his eyes, finally turning to face his former captain. His expression was a wide array of emotions that Keiji couldn’t quite understand; something anxious, and hopeful, damn near _excited_ if he had to put a word to it.

“Alright,” he answered just as softly.

After a moment's hesitation, Bokuto was rearranging them, going as far as to lift Keiji up and pull him onto his body. Once they had settled, he took the time to analyze their positions, only to come to the heart stopping realization that Bokuto was holding onto him like his life depended on it. 

“Is this okay?” 

He refused to look at Keiji.

For the first time, Keiji stopped and _really_ thought about their relationship. Anytime he thought about their interactions, he never thought to adjust his perspective. To him, it was obvious that his senior was a brightly lit star, and that he was merely another planet that orbited around him, but he had never considered that Bokuto viewed their relationship in any other way. For the first time, he let himself consider the idea that maybe he was more important than a planet to Bokuto.

He never hesitated to be by Keiji’s side when he needed him, even though they weren’t even in the same year. He couldn’t remember Bokuto visiting anyone else from the team individually even though Keiji knew that he had cared about everyone. He thought about the stricken look on his face when Keiji had said he should stop coming as often, and the way Bokuto’s face would light up whenever they met up, no matter how many times they did it. He thought about every aspect of their relationship from the past three years and thought for the first time: _maybe Bokuto sees us as equals._

The epiphany stole the air from his lungs as he stared up at the face of his best friend in a completely different light. Did he see their relationship as two stars orbiting each other? To him it didn’t make sense, but the more he thought about all of their interactions, the more he concluded that, yes, that’s exactly how Bokuto viewed their relationship. 

So if that was the case, then why was he trying so hard to keep his distance?

“This is perfect, Bokuto-san.”

The answering smile could have lit up an entire solar system. 

Keiji fell asleep to the sound of Bokuto’s thunderous heart beating directly against his ear.

~~~  
The next morning, the pair walked amicably towards Fukurōdani, the space being filled with Bokuto’s zealous chattering. There was no lingering awkwardness or any indication that they had spent the night clinging to each other. It was unexpected, almost a miracle. The last thing Keiji should be doing is pushing his luck, and yet…

“Bokuto-san?”

He felt a little bad about cutting the other teen off, especially when he was talking about going out to support them at their games today, but the bus was in view now and if he didn’t do this now, he probably never would. 

“Yeah, Akaashi?”

“Can I ask you for something before our game?”

Bokuto looked a little taken aback, but agreed anyway. Keiji was trying to figure out how to ask for something so forward while simultaneously doing everything in his power not to go into cardiac arrest. In the end, he decided not to say anything at all. Stepping forward, he lightly placed his hands on Bokuto’s shoulders, raising on his toes to press a delicate kiss to his cheek. His face was on fire, and he might regret everything in a few minutes, but _god_ he had wanted to do that for over a year and it was worth everything for the way his heart suddenly felt lighter than air.

“For luck,” he whispered, pointedly not looking at Bokuto as he spun back in the direction of the bus.

He didn’t walk two steps before a hand latched onto his elbow, stopping him in his tracks. Hesitantly turning, Keiji was prepared for yelling or any form of rejection really. He certainly wasn’t expecting to find another pair of lips on his. 

They were gone before he could even shut his eyes.

“For luck,” Bokuto repeated, pupils larger than normal as they held Keiji’s gaze.

_Fuck._

Keiji is not proud of the fact that he practically threw himself at his best friend, but he couldn’t really bring himself to complain when he was _kissing Bokuto_ _Koutarou._ The thousands of thoughts that usually bounced around in his head were radio silent as he tangled his hands in Bokuto’s hair. He was vaguely aware of one hand gripping his hip and another trailing up his chest, but that was far from his mind as the sheer overwhelming feeling of those lips moving against his possessed every part of his brain. 

A loud sound tore through the fog in his head, but he only pulled back when he realized that they were being honked at (a small thrill ran up his spine when Bokuto clumsily chased after him). Speaking felt impossible due to the jumble of words knotted in his head.

“Bus. Game.” Eh, close enough.

Bokuto nodded in understanding only to press their lips together again. Keiji all but melted into it until he remembered where exactly he was supposed to be. He could’ve cried when he had to pull back again.

“Late, Bokuto-san.”

“Hmm. No, no, no.” Another kiss. “Koutarou.” Another. “You should definitely call me Koutarou.”

Keiji really couldn’t help the smile that forced itself onto his face. “Koutarou, I need to go.” As if to prove his point, the bus honked again.

He just whined and kissed Keiji again.

“How about this, meet me after our games today, and you will have my undivided attention, alright?”

Bo- _Koutarou_ nodded quickly and finally took a step back, allowing Keiji to run to the bus before it left without him.

A few hours later, the final ball of the day hit the floor on the other side of the net, declaring Fukurōdani victorious. The stands exploded, hundreds of people celebrating their win. Keiji's heart was racing in his chest, and his jersey was completely drenched in sweat as his muscles ached and burned. Everything in his head was racing a hundred miles a second until he looked up and made eye contact with the loudest person there. Koutarou was smiling brighter than Keiji had ever seen, so dazzling that he almost had to look away. There was pride and admiration shining in those golden eyes, and suddenly, Keiji was itching to run off the court so that he could see them up close.

As soon as their coach dismissed them, he was sprinting, throwing the gym's doors open with so much force that they slammed into the walls. His eyes darted around, desperately looking for-

“Keiji!” 

He whipped around so fast his neck almost snapped because standing not even five feet away from him was his star, filling Keiji with the same warmth he always did. The younger boy practically tackled Koutarou, nearly sending them both to the ground. 

Koutarou just laughed. “I’m so proud of you, Keiji.”

His face began to hurt as his uncharacteristically wide smile stretched even further. 

“Well,” Keiji began, shifting back so that he could see Koutarou’s face, “I suppose I did learn some things from my captain last year.”

Golden eyes that he loved so much sparkled with unrestrained joy. “Is that so?”

Keiji hummed, lightly bumping their noses together. “I should probably thank him.”

“Yeah?” A slight shiver ran up Keiji’s spine when Koutarou unconsciously licked his lips. “How are you planning on doing that?”

He didn’t waste time with words, simply pouring as much gratitude as possible into his kiss. Koutarou was smiling which made it a little awkward, but it’s okay.

Keiji was smiling too.

~~~

Many years later while the pair sat cuddled up on the couch in their new apartment, Keiji would explain everything to Koutarou. How, when they became friends, Keiji was convinced that he was merely a planet destined to orbit his star forever. How he eventually realized that maybe his best friend saw them both as stars, and that it would be okay to reach out for something he’d never dreamed possible.

For a long time, Koutarou just sat there, contemplative, rolling over words in his head. When he finally did speak, the words out of his mouth were completely unexpected. “I never saw you as a star, Keiji.” Koutarou bit his lip as he carefully chose his words as he subconsciously tightened his arms around Keiji’s waist. “From the moment I met you, I knew you were important. That I should keep you by my side no matter what.” Koutarou huffed out an amused laugh, his soft smile nostalgic. “After you called me ‘Bokuto-san’ for the first time, I decided that you were going to be my whole world.”

The air somehow got trapped in Keiji’s lungs as his eyes met those sincere golden irises, making it hard to even try to come up with a reply. However, Koutarou wasn’t done. “The more time I spent with you, the more I realized that I was wrong.”

Keiji was drowning. “You were?”

Koutarou pulled him even further into his chest, humming into his ear. “The more time I spend with you, the more I realize that you’re not just my world, but my entire universe.”

The world blanked, nothing but a pair of arms and white noise around him.

“Y-your… Universe?”

There was another hum against his ear, and Keiji could actually feel his boyfriend smiling. “Yeah, my universe. I wouldn’t be anything without you, Keiji.” Whatever stuttered protests the dark haired man could come up with were cut off by a question that silenced him: “Do you have any idea how I see you?” He barely paused for a second to kiss right under Keiji’s ear before plowing through, punctuating each of his words with another kiss trailing down his jaw. “You are the most beautiful, smart, kind, talented, person I have ever met. I am so lucky to know you Keiji, and I have never, ever thought that you were insignificant. I love you so much, and I honestly can’t imagine my life without you.”

Their next kiss was salty from the tears running down Keiji’s face, but he couldn’t really bring himself to care.

The silence that surrounded them had never been more soothing.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!  
> This is my first time writing Bokuaka, and while I absolutely adore this ship, they were definitely the most challenging for me to write in terms of characterization. If either of them are a little ooc please let me know so that I can work on that! I'm always open to criticism, so please don't hesitate to comment. Thank you again!


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